Sweetheart
10-18-2002, 05:46 PM
Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle
with a wire clothes hangar and ignore your suggestions that we
call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will
pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm
looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the
other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all
these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected
to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these
are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect
me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is an
euphemism.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I
will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just
cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has
to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in
my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may
miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to
survive by holding a cell phone.)
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't
think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to
a complete stranger. I mean, how could he know where we're going?
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is
okay. I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for
my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing 5 minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it...looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is after all, the year 2002, I will share equally
in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening,
the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
THIS HAS BEEN
A public service message for Women, to better understand men.
:] :]
with a wire clothes hangar and ignore your suggestions that we
call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will
pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm
looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the
other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all
these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to
bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected
to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these
are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect
me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is an
euphemism.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I
will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just
cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has
to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in
my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may
miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to
survive by holding a cell phone.)
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't
think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to
a complete stranger. I mean, how could he know where we're going?
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your
mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her
any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is
okay. I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for
my mother, too.
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing 5 minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it...looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man, and this is after all, the year 2002, I will share equally
in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening,
the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.
THIS HAS BEEN
A public service message for Women, to better understand men.
:] :]