moebius
07-10-2004, 05:23 PM
Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a Presidential election
that was too close to call.
Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic
presidential candidate had enough votes to win the
election.
Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing
contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner.
There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc.,
but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to
settle things.
The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week
wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the
contest would take place on a remote and frozen lake in Minnesota.
There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent
out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for
counting and verification.
At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line
and he has 10 fish. Soon, George W. returns and has zero fish.
Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or
something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day. At the end
of the 2nd day Kerry comes in with 20 fish and George W. comes in
again with none.
That evening, Dick Cheney gets together secretly with George W. and
says, "I think Kerry is a f#*@ing lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-bitch.
I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing.
Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.
The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish), Cheney
says to George W., "Well, what about it, is Kerry cheatin'?"
"He sure as hell is, Dick, he's cutting holes in the ice."
that was too close to call.
Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic
presidential candidate had enough votes to win the
election.
Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing
contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner.
There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc.,
but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to
settle things.
The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week
wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the
contest would take place on a remote and frozen lake in Minnesota.
There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent
out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for
counting and verification.
At the end of the first day, Kerry returns to the starting line
and he has 10 fish. Soon, George W. returns and has zero fish.
Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or
something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day. At the end
of the 2nd day Kerry comes in with 20 fish and George W. comes in
again with none.
That evening, Dick Cheney gets together secretly with George W. and
says, "I think Kerry is a f#*@ing lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-bitch.
I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing.
Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.
The next night (after Kerry comes back with 50 fish), Cheney
says to George W., "Well, what about it, is Kerry cheatin'?"
"He sure as hell is, Dick, he's cutting holes in the ice."